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| 11 May, 1980 |
[May 11] |
WARDED TO THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX:Anyone feel up to getting a few rounds at the gun range? More than enough here for you. I restocked the shelves.
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| 28 Apr 1980 |
[April 28] |
WARDED TO EMMELINE VANCE WARRINGTON:No time like the present, I guess. Moody's been training at the castle's gun range, and I remember we'd talked about it before.
Are you still up for it?
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| 16 April 1980 |
[April 17] |
WARDED TO THE ORDER:Fucking vampires in Diagon Alley. Sturgis, Angus - you might have already heard, but just in case... Lydia was among their victims. I managed to take out two of them, third got away. At least I think Lydia's got extensive injuries, severe blood loss. It's pretty critical at the moment.
They were the same fucking vampires who killed Nick. The fucking bitch admitted to me before I shot her fucking face off.
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| 13 April 1980 |
[April 13] |
Nicholas Harrow was a good man, and I don't care what Rita Skeeter says, he did not kill his secretary, Nina. I'd point out logic and things I knew about him to prove my point, but I could give a flying fuck right now about proving it to bigots and hate-mongerers.
WARDED PRIVATE:Five days later, and it still
I don't think I've processed it. I don't think I will until I have his ashes I don't fucking know if it ever will. I would have married him in a heartbe
Small consolation with Gwen, at least. Maybe I can talk to Nehru to get her to leave the country, go off to India. I can tell her when to come back, if she wants to, but at least she'd be safe.
I can't have her or Madog thinking about joining the Order. It's too fucking dangerous, and yeah, I'm in it. And yeah, hypocrite, but quite fucking frankly, I'm going to vote NO on anyone who tries. What's to say they won't want an updated fucking list of members at some point? What makes anyone think they won't just systematically try to draw us out by killing off our loved ones? Even beyond that, there's ruining our reputations, putting doubt into our co-worker's minds on our sanity, whether we're fucking Death Eaters - most of us have disappeared suddenly and come back after the masquerade or Kings Cross with suspicious fucking injuries. It looks just as damning from our fucking side of things.
And it should. What we're doing's not legal, and it's not moral either. Anyone who thinks we're going to stop fire by pouring fucking petrol on it is deluding themselves. Tuck away your morals or get the fuck out of the Order, if you ask me. The rules are different at war, and I'm not going to feel the slightest bit bad for blowing their fucking brains out.
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| 8 April 1980 |
[April 08] |
WARDED PRIVATE:No, I don't want to talk. No, I don't want food. No, I don't want a hug. No, I don't want your fucking sympathy or your sad eyes looking in my direction.
The only thing I want is Nick back.
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| 18 March 1980 |
[March 18] |
Warded to Nick Harrow:Nick. Hector Gibbons is a Death Eater? HECTOR? I think I'm gonna be fucking sick.
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| 17 March 1980 |
[March 17] |
Warded to Peadar:
[Charmed to ring obnoxiously until read.]
Where are you? I need to talk to you NOW.
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| 15 March 1980 |
[March 15] |
I'm having a fucking pint after work tonight - this morning - whatever you want to call it. Maybe having to have a drink at the end of every work day makes me an alcoholic. It wouldn't really surprise me at this stage of the game.
Warded Private:
Fuck me. Scrimgeour's parents have gone missing. Last week, it was Emily's, this week it's Rufus's. It's a pattern that is not hard to decipher. What in the world can we do when everything is too little, too late? There has to be something offensive that the Order can do here, something that Aurors can't because of stupid paperwork.
It REALLY sucks that my job is all about cleaning up, it's never about PREVENTING anything so it's not as though I can use some experience from work to help us.
I seriously feel so useless just cleaning up the messes the Death Eaters leave behind. I get to see their aftermath everywhere I go. It's more than a little fucking disappointing.
Some days I wonder just how stupid I really was to get into this line of work. Crisis of career or whatever people want to call it. It's too late to really do anything about it now, isn't it? I can't exactly go back to school and change the marks I made to do something else.
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| 21 Feb 1980 |
[February 21] |
Warded to Gawain Robards:
I don't want any bullshit, Robards. How's Alderton and how are you?
The truth, not some nervous joke meant to distract me from how you really feel.
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| 14 Feb 1980 |
[February 14] |
Warded to the Order of the Phoenix and supporters:
Aw fuck. I'm not good at sugar coating things, so don't shoot me for just ripping the band-aid off the wound.
Dark Mark. Cardiff. Doc and Charity are dead. Looks like Killing Curses. They look like they were The house has been ransacked, looks like they were looking for something.
Warded Private:
There was nothing for me to do. Nothing to even try to do.
Bang up job, MacDougal. Congratulations. First time you've fucking cried on the goddamn job.
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